So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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