do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
