he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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