The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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