What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
