just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just had sex on a roof
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
