I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
420 ftw
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
