I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
