the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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