Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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