just tell him i said nine months
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
