Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
