oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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