Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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