This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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