WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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