I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
