and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I need moral support for this bender
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
