Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You were trust falling into bushes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
