i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
