similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
