Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That was before I lit my hair on fire
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
