I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize