Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
