i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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