I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is Oprah even human
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
