Need sex. Gaining weight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
