guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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