What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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