I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
