I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish i was in the wii world.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
