Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize