Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
