Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
