Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
