And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
