so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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