It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
