I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
