he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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