How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
