are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
