It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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