I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
