Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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