im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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