I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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