STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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