the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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