Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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