So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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