He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
