he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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