got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
