Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
