I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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