Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
