Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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