She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
