whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
