don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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