so let's talk penis.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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