i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
