Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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