it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
